Enigma
by amethyst-key
Summary: There was something not quite right about Cloud. Set between the ending of Crisis Core and the beginning of the original game.


**Prompt: **Enigma

* * *

There were times when Cloud wasn't sure if he really knew who he was. As strange memories that weren't his own flashed through his mind and his vision hazed over with mako green, he wondered if he was going crazy or if that feeling that was causing his insides to twist into knots was finally breaking free. The sounds of the bar faded and he gripped the handle of his beer mug almost to the point of breaking. He felt sick and his body was so hot-

"Cloud!"

His hand relaxed from around the glass as blue eyes blinked and suddenly, he was back in Seventh Heaven. Worried brown eyes stared down at him and the crease between her eyes refused to lessen when he looked up at her.

"Are you alright?" Tifa asked for the hundredth time since she had brought him back to the bar from the train station.

"I'm fine," he assured coolly, leaning back in seat.

She bit her lip and gave him a puzzled look with that wrinkle between her eyes before moving on to clear one of the tables. His gaze followed - eyes trailing those long legs - and he scoffed at himself. Of course he knew who he was.

_He was Cloud Strife, SOLDIER First Class. _

Fire. Oh, gods, so much fire. It seared his skin and smoke filled his lungs and the screams of people – his childhood enemies', his neighbors', his _mother's_ - echoed in his ears. His home town was burning around him and he couldn't do a thing to stop it. He was a SOLDIER, wasn't he? Why couldn't he stop it?

Tifa was hurt. He cradled her in his arms and gently brushed the bangs from her face. Her eyes opened and she smiled weakly when she saw him. "Cloud… you came."

Of course. He'd worked every day, every moment for her. He had gotten stronger so he could protect her, so he could come back to their small little town in the mountains to sweep her off her feet. Her eyes closed and he lowered her back to the cold floor of the reactor.

Sound from atop the stairs drew his attention and he heard someone say _something_ to him… what was it?

His stomach burned and pain shot through him as cold, green eyes stared at him and thin lips curled up in a smile.

That fire again. It burned so much-

"Shh, it's okay, Cloud. You're alright."

Gentle fingers were smoothing sweat slick hair away from his face when he gasped awake. Sitting beside him on the bed, Tifa had her arms around him, just like they had for the past few weeks, cradling him as he trembled and shook. He felt like he was going to throw up and that fever that seemed to burn him up from the inside out was back.

"There was so much fire-" he gasped.

She continued rocking him and whispered, "I know."

He was safe. And more importantly, Tifa was safe. He wanted to seize her and kiss her and make them _both_ forget their destroyed hometown and the lives they had lost. He couldn't bring himself to move, though, and instead let her hold him until his body was still.

She went back to her room and he lay in the darkness trying to convince himself that he was strong enough to protect her. He felt like he had after she had fallen off the bridge, too small and weak to able to do anything-

No. That wasn't him. Not anymore.

_He was Cloud Strife, SOLDIER._

After that night, Cloud wanted to keep her close. He tried to convince Tifa to sleep with him. He didn't think she would readily agree, but he gave it his best shot anyway.

When he first brought up the idea, she protested.

"Cloud! I'm _not_ going to sleep with you!"

From one of the spots in the almost empty bar, Barret's eyebrows lifted and the suspicious look that had finally left his face in the weeks that Cloud had been staying with them returned.

"Not that kind of sleeping," Cloud said before leaning across the bar with a smirk. "Unless you want to, that is."

Tifa eyes widened and she flushed all the way up to her hairline. He heard Barret growl beside him and he leaned away from her. He didn't really think that Barret could take him, but he knew that Tifa wouldn't appreciate her bar being torn apart.

Even after a great amount of conversation and a plethora of reasons, he couldn't convince her to join him. He asked if she wanted him to keep waking up everyone with his screaming, but she simply shook her head in protest.

Barrret 'hmph'-ed in approval before going back to his drink.

That night, he woke up with a hazy memory of black spikes and bright blue eyes that weren't his. Cheeky grins, friendly smacks, and encouraging words-

His lungs felt tight and he couldn't seem to take a breath. His skin was too taut and he felt too light and too heavy at the same time. Something wasn't right, _he_ wasn't right. Jumbled memories tumbled around in his head and there was that feeling of not quite fitting in his own skin that seemed to always, always float on the edge of his senses.

His door opened and he reached forward until he felt warm skin and Tifa's arms came around him. His vision cleared, the band around his lungs loosened, and those voices that screamed at him when he awoke calmed to a buzz in the back of his mind. He buried his nose in the crook of her neck and inhaled the scent of her hair and skin.

Thoughts of anyone else faded and his world shrank until it was just them. That is all that he needed to know who he was, it be right.

_He was Cloud Strife._

A few nights later, it was Tifa who had the nightmare. She always had them, but this was one of the rare ones that jolted her from sleep screaming.

She had dreamed of her father's death again. Of Nibelheim and the reactor and Sephiroth… and Cloud. That night was all she could remember of him. He had talked about the incident to her like she should have remembered him, like he was there. But he wasn't as far she remembered. Maybe she was the one who was wrong; she had been badly hurt.

She couldn't forget the way he would act sometimes, though. Every time she saw his eyes turn that dangerous shade of green, her heart would stop. Sometimes Cloud seemed so lost inside of himself, so young, like parts of him were missing and someone was there instead. There were little bits of his personality that just didn't seem to fit. Those self-confident smirks he gave her when he ran a hand up to the edge of her skirt, the way his lips would skim her neck behind the bar during a busy night, the casual brush of his hands across her stomach.

All those little things confused her and excited her at the same time. She wasn't sure what to feel and in some ways, she thought she was just as lost as him.

"Tifa?"

She opened her eyes to find him leaning over her bed, staring at her with a worried expression, his eyes that constant shift between electric blue and mako green.

"I'm fine," she whispered, trying to shake off the remnants of her nightmare.

He reached down to wipe the tears that had fallen from her eyes and her hand came up to hold his. She needed to touch him and know that he was real and not just another part of her dreams. He blinked in surprise and suddenly, the boy before he left Nibelheim was in front of her again, looking lost and confused. Her hand rose and grasped the material of his shirt. She tugged him down to sit beside her and he followed hesitantly, a sharp contrast to his bold words and even bolder touches.

"Tifa?" he questioned.

"Stay with me," she whispered, not releasing his hand.

He swallowed before nodding. Pulling back the blankets, he slipped in next to her and tugged her into his arms, resting her head on his shoulder and tucking her body into his. One hand rested on her lower back while the other ran comfortingly through her hair.

Tifa was still confused, but she pushed it away. Right now, all she wanted to do was be held by him and know he wasn't going to disappear when she went to sleep. They would figure everything out later when the fires of their hometown didn't burn behind their eyes as much and missing memories didn't seem as dark.

He was there with her and… and…

_He was Cloud._

And that's all that really mattered.


End file.
